Unseen Bruises

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How many times can one girl get hurt by men? I guess it depends on the angle….

I have been crushed by one man several times in a short time span. I’ve been hurt by 2 or 3 more, and crushed again by a new guy. You could call me damaged one-too-many times.
Whenever I think I’m stronger, I fall down again. I try not to fall apart. I keep it cool most of the time. What did I do wrong? When will it be right? I should know it isn’t me. But it gets hard to judge when theres no distance.

Literally, I have been bruised once from passion. I loved every minute of it. In turn, all I was left with the next morning was just that: a bruise. Bruises always hurt worse than they look. And that one was visible.

People ask why I’m single, like its my fault. How is it mine? All I did was open my soul every time. I told my secrets, and didn’t lie. I guess that’s not allowed in the love game.
I want commitment. I wanted it yesterday. Now, I’ve been waiting for what feels like forever. Isn’t this what all people want? I can’t be too young to wish this. I want to be loved, noticed & cared for. I want to lose myself all over again and for it to actually mean something. This is my confession. It means everything.

As time passes, more of my soul disappears. I have too many unseen scars and bruises to care for. It might kill me to try to count them. The bigger question is: How many more will I get before I die? Or before I find the right kind of love?
My heart is made of glass. It is now unable to bruise. I have dark circles & tears under my eyes. I can barley see. But I will never stop searching. I’m up off my knees, praying won’t help. Who will save me? That’s the mystery that I do want to see. And see it soon, I shall. ❀

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Thanks for reading!

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