“I go to the hills when my heart is lonley..”

“The hills are alive with the sound of music… I go to the hills when my heart is lonley..” – The Sound of Music

Yes, it can get lonely on days like these.

My “spring break” has come to an end and I find myself feeling a little meloncholy. I’ve seen so many things in my life so far, but I feel at times I have no one to share it with besides family. Yes, I love them but I’m longing for more. Something more than this life has planned.. You could say I’m like Belle from Beauty & the Beast, or like Maria in the Sound of Music. That’s probably why I’ve always been one to sing or dance. It’s the more frivolous, artistic side that wants to be shared with. It wants to be loved. I want to feel alive all the time!

As I spend today relaxing, watching Princess Diaries & The Sound of Music, I find out through social media that another person from my graduating high school class is engaged. And this person, well, he used to mean a lot to me. It drives me crazy to see them engaged so soon.

“She’s supposed to be his transitional person she’s not supposed to be the one!” – When Harry Met Sally

If you’ve seen that movie, you know what I feel. It’s not that I’m jealous of who she has, but what they together have. I feel as if my life hasn’t moved forward socially. Yes, it’s changed in jobs & people I’ve met. But it hasn’t changed in the directions I want more. I know I’m impatient, it drives me insane. It’s time to stop thinking about the past.

I’m going to take all those old, depressed feelings of doubt & put them in a shell. I love the beach & I have a ton of shells so why not! Then, I’m going to wish that shell luck, & throw it into the ocean or even the field behind my house. I hope it will take all that energy and keep it away from me. Maybe it will even keep thoughts of people from my past away. At least for a while. I just want a cleanse of my mind. I want to be more positive from now on.