That’s all I can think to myself. And this goes for basically anything that happens in my day; When I’ve had a wonderful day, I think: Wow! What a great day! If it’s a bad day: wow. If my 7 year old sister throws a fit, again:wow. And if I’m working and someone gets mad at me or a customer treats me like I’m their personal slave: wow, wtf. WTF is a close second to my feelings every day. Lol It’s part of being an adult…?
I recently turned 23. Do I feel different? Not really. You know what I did on my actual birthday? I cried on my way to my moms house before going shopping. Cried my eyes out. Why? Well, at the time, I didn’t feel special. I didn’t feel like anything good was coming my way. No, nothing truly bad has happened but nothing good has happened either. I knew I was a year older. My aunt had my twin cousins call and sing Happy Birthday to me. It was adorable! Which got me emotional in the first place. My aunt asked me why I was upset & I told her. She said,” Well, honey that’s what happens when your an adult. When you grow up, your birthdays aren’t always a big deal.” She was right. Honestly, it felt like I had just wasted another year of working.
Working for what? Money to save for the future. Ha! What future? Nothing’s gonna change so why bother right?
Up until the day after my birthday, I was feeling depressed. Don’t get me wrong, my birthday was great. I mean, here’s my photo I posted from my birthday dinner…
Funny, right? But I was feeling that my friends were too busy for me and I felt I had no life except my two jobs. It was true! Plus, I’m single. Me being the romantic I am, had been wishing something magical would happen. I wanted to fast forward to my happy ending and I wanted to do it now! But that’s not how life works.
The day after my birthday, I looked on Facebook to see all the birthday wishes. Yes, they made me smile. Then as I looked, I thought “wow. These people send all these good wishes, but I’d rather have someone plan on doing something with me on my birthday. Not just a text message every year.” I’m missing that real-life communication that I was only getting from co-workers & family. It was tough to grasp. It was just what my aunt said. And I’ve reached the age where mom doesn’t plan birthday parties for me anymore.(Not saying I need her to) If I want a party with my friends, I get to plan it. But that’s no fun! And I apparently don’t have friends close to me enough to plan something. (No offense.) Wow. However, that is the era we live in. It’s all online, and everyone has their own lives. It may be WAY different than they portray it to be online, but it’s their life, not mine or anyone else’s.
Basically, I learned in about 2 days-which I know I learned this all before I just needed reminding-that if you wanna do something, do it. If you don’t wanna do something, don’t do it & let it go. If you want to have fun, as an adult you have to plan it. Take the time. If you don’t, whose to say anybody else will? They have their busy lives just like you do. Take a chance & make it happen on your own. Otherwise, you’ll never do it. At least, that’s how I work. It runs in the family; we are planners.
In the next few weeks, my views changed even more. I clearly cared more about one of my jobs than the other. On the other hand, one was greater in more ways than the other. I decided to separate my deep feelings about both jobs & just do what I can in the hours I have. Just put my head down, don’t talk & don’t argue. It’s worked great for one job. The other, not so much. The other job, it lasted in me for literally an hour. I then got mad about something, and decided to speak up about anything else. Guess what.. It worked! I had a great idea to change something in my area. Both my managers liked it! As I write, it is being implemented in other departments as well. It wasn’t a new idea, it was just bringing back one that everyone stopped caring about. And ya know what? Life has been much better already! I’m less frazzled, I know what I’m doing & what everyone else knows. All because of one thing: communication. No, not gossip, actual conversation about what we did & what needs to be done. So simple!
Communication is lacking everywhere. Not just in the workplace. We use social media to “share” our news. That’s great… For a newspaper. Why don’t we talk to people in person much anymore? My town is pretty small. Everyone may know everything but it’s gossip. I was feeling that people that I’ve known for a long time had forgotten how to connect with new people or re-connect with old friends. I thought it was just part of growing up.
That was until I went to a bridal shower.
It was like an amazing reunion for a group of us. I felt like the old me again! I haven’t felt that way since I was 18. MAYBE 19. I may have only been there for an hour and a half, but it was still great. And now, I’ve talked to one of my old friends almost every day since! We all just needed to meet up & BAM! Life is good! Maybe it just made me feel good about myself, but whatever! I’m not gonna worry about it. I’m just gonna enjoy life!
I know people get busy. And I know we all have lives. But those quick messages mean a lot. My cousin just texting me saying he missed me meant a lot! Even if it’s a quick how are you? Do it! You guys may get together and have a great time! This even goes for an old crush or someone you like but haven’t talked to yet. You never know what it will mean to the person you send it to. They could be busy, they could be annoyed, happy, or they could be lonely and need it. That text or phone call may be a difference of life & death for some people! Not for me, but we’ve seen it on tv. I just saw it on AHS: Coven. That crazy mom was going to kill herself until the witch called her to talk about her dead son, Kyle. You never know how much time you have. So really, you don’t know what conversations do to people, do you?
Even if it’s someone you don’t see anymore, just say hi. I know that true friends are still friends whenever they see each other, no matter how long the distance. But don’t be afraid to just say hello. I’m not going to be anymore. I’m going to be me, and I’m going to follow my heart. I’m gonna text one of my friends today, whom I haven’t talked to in a couple months. It starts with me, it starts with you. As Nike ads say, Just do it!
I didn’t write this to bash my small town or friends, I have no hard feelings toward anyone. In fact, I’m very positive this week compared to normal. I just want people to wake up and smell the coffee! Just because we are growing up, or times are different, doesn’t mean we don’t have to be nice. Further, that doesn’t mean that everyone won’t want to talk to you. And if they don’t, they are missing out on the great person you are! Just try anyways. Talk to people, and then go do something fun!
On another note, I just saw Zootopia and it was great! That movie is adorable & really uplifting. If you haven’t seen it, go now! Yes, I bought Shakira’s song from it, Try Everything. So, like the lyrics of the song, I’m gonna keep trying & let it go. Here are some lyrics from the song for some inspiration. If your like me, it’ll help a lot! And it’ll help with many parts of life. Dang, how does Disney do that?!
“I messed up tonight, I lost another fight.”
“Birds don’t just fly, they fall down & get up.”
“I won’t give up, no I won’t give in ’till I reach the end and then I’ll start again. No, I won’t leave, I wanna try everything. I wanna try even though I could fail.” (My favorite)
“Don’t beat yourself up.”
“I’ll keep on making those new mistakes. I’ll keep on making them everyday.” (So true!)
Please follow my blog for more! I plan on writing much more often than I have been. 😉