I’m so tired of the same feeling when I wake up.

Why can’t I stop dreaming about this? About you or things that have never happened?!

Am I cursed because I met you or because of some other mistake I made long ago? If I’m not cursed, am I blessed with visions of the future?

It certainly doesn’t feel like it.

When I wake up from a dream with you, or people who’ve passed in it, I feel happy when my eyes open. But once my mind brings me back to now, I’m sad or angry. I just want to close my eyes and disappear; disappear right back into that dream.

“It’s not finished”, I tell myself with my eyes barely open. “It can’t end there, I don’t want it to.”

No matter how hard I try, I can’t slip back into that state of mind.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t say that I’m done with you.

We hadn’t even started yet…

Now you know, this isn’t about who you all figured it was. It’s two people, and one is not that guy.

Sure, one is a guy. The other is family, and I can’t shake her either.

When she’s in my dreams, I awake with feelings of joy, only to have them crushed by tears of sadness in waves of pain.

When he’s in my dreams, I awake with butterflies that I never wanted to end. Those butterflies are replaced with a lump in my throat & frustration. A big piece of heartache that will never end. I didn’t even get to see how it felt. We didn’t even try.

Maybe this is telling me your not good for me. Maybe it’s all a lie. Or maybe it’s all in my head and that’s why I cry.

Either way, this is why my dreams keep me awake, everyday.

“Is this what it feels like to really cry??”- Kelly Clarkson

“Drown Out my dreams. Keep me from remembering whatever wants me to remember it.”- The Last Unicorn



Hi everyone!

I recently wrote a two page editorial for a family member’s new business. They talked to a local magazine & were able to get the slot for an ad with a free space for an editorial in January’s issue. The magazine is Equine & Canine News. My local Californians may have heard of it.

Anyways, I wrote it & I just found out this week that it has gotten over 6,000 views/reads! I’m so excited! Not just for me, but for my family too. I’ve been helping them run their new Instagram for their shop & advertise some too. This was just one more thing they asked me to do and I’m very proud of it!

If anyone wishes to read it, it is on the website Equine & Canine News and just click the menu option “current issue”. The editorial is on page 5 for the SLO County business called EQ-Wine Covers Co. If anyone wants to visit the shop after reading, all the details are in their ad in the editorial!

I’m super excited about this & I’m really feeling like me again; I know I can write, but I love to edit. I haven’t had a chance to do something outside of blogging for a while now. And this has boosted my self esteem which has been low this past year. Even with job promotions & success like this, it’s hard to be positive lately when I’m so lonely.

Thank you everyone for the support & for following my blog!! I couldn’t have done it without this blog coming first. Maybe there will be more editorials in my future… who knows?!


Disney Animals List: Bears

Bears. They aren’t everywhere, but they are cool animals! Disney has always made great cartoons that we’ve all grown up with. So how many of these classics have a bear or two in them?? Well let’s find out in this list of Disney Animated Bears! Yes, it’s another Animated Animals List.

Sadly, the Country Bears from Disneyland are not in this list. However, this does include Pixar movies. There are a few movies I never saw in the early 2000s (I know, it’s crazy) so if there’s animals from them I missed, please comment & tell me! I will not be offended. But on all the other classics and such, I know what I’m doing. πŸ˜‰ So here we go!

1) Mama Brown Bear & Cubs- Dumbo (1941). That’s right folks, the first bears we saw in Disney movies wasn’t until Dumbo. It was super cute though! I love how surprised she was to get two cubs. THAT’S LOVE!

2) Br’er Bear- Song of the South (1946). Yes, part of the famous characters that most of us know from the Disneyland ride, Splash Mountain. Not gonna lie, in all the pictures I tried to find, he looks a little dim-witted. Then again, it was a film that was very time-sensitive. We have to remember the era this movie was from… excuse the tiny picture!

3) Neverland Bear- Peter Pan (1953). That’s quite a gap! The next Bear was only seen for a little bit. He appears when the lost boys are singing Following the Leader. It’s cute, he thinks that Michael’s Teddy bear is an actual cub. Lol

4) Baloo- The Jungle Book (1967). Yup, we jumped 10 plus years & got the famous Baloo the bear of the jungle. He really is the best. And any animal voiced by Phil Harris at this point beats all the rest. #bearnecessities

5) Little John- Robin Hood (1973). Another great one! A bear as Robin Hood’s sidekick. I’ve noticed that Disney liked pairing bears & foxes together in teams. I wonder why…

6) Bear in Nottingham- Robin Hood (1973). Yes, there’s another bear. He’s small and we only see him when he’s cheering on Robin in the tournament. He still counts.

7) Pooh Bear- The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977). Who doesn’t love Winnie the Pooh?! He’s adorable, all stuffed with fluff…. silly old bear. I also love him in the remake they did in 2011.

8) Evil Black Bear- The Fox & the Hound (1981). It’s time.. the movie that made us all cry, gives us THE most evil bear. This thing literally came out of nowhere. Look at his eyes, their red! And the drool… PURE EVIL!

9) Mama Bear & Cubs- Pocahontas (1995). We all know the scene: John Smith goes to shot the bear, & Pocahontas stopped him WHILE SINGING, & shows him her cubs. Gotta love Colors of the Wind.

10) Panda Bear- Mulan (1998). Mushu uses this guy as his method of transportation while dressed as a soldier telling them they are needed at the front. “What’s the matter, never seen a black & white before?” LOL I love this movie and I almost forgot about this!

11) Thief Bear/Koda’s Mom- Brother Bear (2003). I’m presenting her first because she’s the first Bear we actually see in this movie. And by the way, this movie is why I’m doing this list. It’s one of my favorite movies! And the end when Koda see’s his mom as a spirit…. {sniffles}… I can’t. watch. without. CRYING MY EYES OUT! Can you?!

12) Kenai- Brother Bear (2003). Kenai turns into a bear, and stays one. He didn’t even have to! I like him better as a bear tbh. Kenai changed in this movie in more ways than one, and that’s a great storyline. It’s sad that he did stupid things but he’s forgiven in the end. It’s all about love! Just like his totem.

13) Koda- Brother Bear (2003). Koda is THE cutest little bear cub whom Kenai meets after turning into a bear. Little did Kenai know that he was the reason Sitka turned him; Kenai killed Koda’s mom. Sad, but at least there was a happy ending!

14) Salmon Run Bears- Brother Bear (2003). Here at the Salmon Run are TONS of bears. So here are a few of their names that I could find….

Tug- Who is clearly the biggest bear there, is also pretty chill. This black bear obviously knows Koda well & is the favorite of the group.

Hippie Bear- “Hey, you’re stirring the water dude.” That’s his one line & he looks like he has blonde hair. Haha

Old Lady Bear- She thinks her husband Edgar is dead… “Quit telling everyone I’m dead!”

Foreign Bear- Speaks foreign Bear language. Nobody understands him but apparently his story is funny!

Bear Cubs- We don’t have names, but they are everywhere! So cute!

New Bear Couple- Two teen-ish bears who just met, and they already love each other. Pretty funny play on a summer romance.

And of course there are a million other bears that don’t have specific traits we see. After all it is the Salmon Run!

15) City Bears- Chicken Little (2005). Yes, there are bears in the city. You see them in the beginning during all the chaos. But that’s about it, none are main characters.

16) Nita- Brother Bear 2 (2006). Yup, there was a Brother Bear 2. And Nita is a human who loves Kenai & turns into a bear to be with him in the end. It’s pretty cute!

17) Lotso Huggin Bear- Toy Story 3 (2010). Lotso is a stuffed animal who looks nice & cuddly–he even smells good–but really isn’t. He runs the toys in Sunnyside Daycare. And his backstory is sad too.

18) Mor’du- Brave (2012). Mor’du is an evil bear who turns out used to be a prince. He attacks King Fergus and took his leg off. King Fergus plans on killing the beast & it’s “one dead eye.” I love the scene when the King is telling the story. Another interesting thing is how he asked for the same spell as Merida for himself. It was cool to see his spirit as a human when he died, it was like he was thanking them for being released.

19) Queen Elenor- Brave (2012). True, she isn’t truly a bear, but she turns into one AND Disney/Pixar did a great job making us all cry at the end; making us think she was going to stay a bear forever. Thankfully, she doesn’t. She was a pretty bear though.

20) Merida’s Brothers: Hamish, Hubert & Harris- Brave (2012). “We devils more like.” They ate the cake and turned into bear cubs. SO CUTE! And hilarious. Gotta love it….

21) Mr. Big’s Polar Bears- Zootopia (2016). Mr. Big has Polar bears as his “body guards”. Two of them have names that we know, Raymond & Kevin. There are other polar bears we see in this film as well.

22) Bears- Zootopia (2016). There are plenty other bears in this city as well. This includes one that we see that’s been turned “savage”. There are black bears and brown bears, that’s the most we see.

That’s it! Barely 20 bears so far! I’m sure if we counted all the bears in Brother Bear & even Zootopia individually, we’d be at almost 30. Still, this is quite a bit over the years. Gotta love Disney!

Thanks for reading! These Animated lists are fun to make. In case you missed them, here are my other Disney lists so far:

Disney Cats

Disney Dogs

Disney Horses

Disney Mice/Rats

Here are other links I used for help as well:

Animated Disney Movie List: http://www.disneymovieslist.com/animated-disney-movies

Photos: Google

Make sure to check back for more Disney Lists coming soon!


Spirit: One of Dreamwork’s Best Movies

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron

I love this movie! It’s historical, funny, and a great story!

I have always thought this movie was amazing. If you haven’t seen it, you need to! The artwork/animation is amazing & it’s got a great storyline. Sure it’s a kids movie, but what’s wrong with that? Dreamworks really outdid themselves with this one.

This film is set in the Wild West before it was settled. Railroads were still being built! Spirit is a wild mustang who we see grow up & take charge of his heard. Sadly, he gets separated by who? Humans. Along the way, he meets Army men, Native Americans, & his love, Rain. Rain is a pinto who lives with the natives. I truly love that they had the narration of Spirit & his thoughts. They didn’t make him talk, just the humans. Not that animals talking is bad, I do love Disney! Lol but this was a nice change & made it feel more realistic. 

This movie may be historical, but it does still get a somewhat happy ending. Don’t worry, I won’t spoil it for those uncultured swines whom haven’t seen it. πŸ˜‰ This entire film is fun, cute, intense, & beautiful of course. This film came out in 2002 and I’ve loved it ever since.

Another thing I love is the soundtrack. It’s perfect in so many ways!! And it gives you that country vibe for sure. *Fun fact: if you walk into Disney’s California Adventure & go into the area with Soarin’ & the start if the woodlands,  you can hear the main theme song from the Spirit soundtrack!! Mind= BLOWN! It’s not even Disney’s movie but it goes so well in that area.

Above all, this film is very good, one of the best of its kind. It gives you a feeling that makes you wanna go outside, ride a horse or even go camping. It gets better for kids…..

Netflix now has a series based off this movie! It’s centered around a little girl who moves to a country town. She meets this mustang & the two become inseparable (which is similar to what happened in the movie with him & the natives). My family is stoked, and your kids can be too! It uses newer animation but it’s still that same horse! Check it out! I really hope they bring in Rain at some point though… 

New Things Coming Soon….

Boy have I been busy! I’ve gotten a new job, a promotion (already!), going on vacations & living dramatic joys of the single life. Crazy right?!

Well, I’m just doing a quick post letting my followers know that I’m going to be adding more blogs very soon. Here are some to look out for in the next few months:

A movie review (it’s not a new movie but one I love)….

Another Disney Character Backstory (or two πŸ˜‰ )…..

Possibly a post with Disneyland pictures I recently took….

And maybe one other surprise one, I haven’t decided if I actually want to post it yet. 

Thank you for staying with me! I haven’t forgotten how to blog, I’ve just had a crazy life lately. Lol


Calling You….

I’m in a music lyrics kind of mood tonight….

Most of you may have never heard this song before. You should look it up! But sadly it’s not on iTunes. I know, lame right?! 

That’s right, I downloaded it elsewhere and got it to work on my iTunes & iPod. It was even a free download! This song is on old song by miss Celine Dion! So here are the lyrics of the beginning & chorus (which repeats often) and seriously, listen to it somewhere. It’s beautiful!

Calling You

A desert road from Vegas to nowhere…

Someplace better than where you’ve been.

A coffee machine that needs a little fixing in a little cafe just around the bend.

I am calling you!

I know you hear me….

I…. I am calling you….

This song seriously describes how I feel right now. I’m tired of lack of communication everywhere I turn…. uh.

Thanks for reading! This was a short one but that’s ok! 

Evie Blender Review

Who has heard about the Evie Blender?? I HAVE! It’s a fairly new product to help you apply make up, and it’s really cool. 

This is what it looks like: 

The Evie Blender. “The only textured silicone Blender that blends like a sponge, lasts 4xs as long & wont absorb product” according to their Instagram profile. This patent pending product is quite a trip & is quickly becoming a hit. The creators have shared many videos & photos on their Insta on how to use it. Mainly, they talk about using it for foundation & concealer. You can use half of the amount of cover up you would normally use on this. It’s supposed to blend well and many people say it helps the make up spread properly–it doesn’t feel as heavy. Make up artists were using them on movie stars, and it has been blogged on many websites, including Cosmopolitan. 

After seeing this I got quite excited, so I had to order it. I ordered it in March and apparently the company had just started. Let me share my experience….

They started pre-selling on the Kickstarter sight to campaign enough money to start a website/spread the word I believe. Millions of people purchased them through that site. I ordered when they had their own website, evieblender.com. I ordered the glitter gold Blender. Little did I know that it would take a while. They not only sold them on those 2 sites, they also sold them on Indiegogo. Each site had different colors as well! I think they didn’t realize how many people rush to try new make up tools. With all the madness, Instagram users started bugging about when their blenders would be shipped–including myself, I’m not ashamed to admit it. The initial email upon ordering said they planned to send them out my sometime in early April. It was after April 9th that people started freaking.

Think about it: you ordered this cool looking product, are dying to try it, and are worried it got lost in the mail, or something else happened. Anything can go wrong ordering online and it’s a risk we ALL take. So the company took to Instagram to release a status report, thank goodness!! I got mine right before Mother’s Day, in May. It was ok that it took so long. However, it came in a nude color instead of gold. Luckily, the company was one step ahead of me: they sent me an email the day it arrived about the possibility if the wrong color. They kindly offered to send me a new one when I sent a picture of what I received. Gladly I did so, and ordered the Stardust silver one instead. 

They sent this one to me super fast and it got to me the next week. I still had the original one, so I gave it to my mom as a bonus Mother’s Day gift! Why not, right? I was pretty stoked once I got it. Filled with excitement, I grabbed one and tested it out! And here’s what I found…

I don’t wear much makeup. Like barely any apparently. Being an ex-dancer, I don’t like to feel millions if layers on my face. Feeling that for 16 years was long enough. So, when I tried a little less cover up on this than on my brush, it wasn’t enough to smooth it out. I ran out too quickly & my face looks WAY too dark compared to normal. I next tried my concealer, using less of a swipe than normal. THIS WORKED PERFECTLY!! Even to cover up pimples, it was flawless. 

My discovery was surprising for me, but I wasn’t mad. I decided I would continue to use my brush for my cover up until I could figure it out better. But I will always use it for concealer. Plus, I can use it for my cream eyeshadow that I use as a base everyday. It’s great for that too! For you ladies who don’t use much makeup, here’s what I use for the base of my makeup, everyday!

I would rate this item 4 out of 5 stars since I don’t use that much cover up & it seems to need more than what I use, but less than makeup artists typically use. On the other hand, I LOVE how easy it is to clean. And it works well for many different things, the possibilities are endless!

In terms of experience when it comes to ordering, before getting the first one that came in the wrong color, I would say a 3 out of 5 stars because at that time, there wasn’t much communication besides on social media. That’s fine for me, but for people who don’t like social media, that would suck. AFTER receiving a new one in a different color after the mix up, I would bump up the rating to 5 out of 5 stars. Here’s why: the communication was better, especially via email, and it was much faster shipping. So hopefully things can stay that way for this new company & awesome product.

Thanks for reading! This was my first makeup review & I’m pretty excited to use this one. Get yourself an Evie Blender now!